An Abused woman’s addiction to abusive men

An Abused woman’s addiction to abusive men

Marilyn Shear Goodman discussed this in her book “Pattern Changing for Abused Women: An Educational Program” which was published in 1995 by Sage.

At page 58 of the book she wrote:

Presenting the possibility that, rather than love, a woman may be experiencing a type of addiction to the abuser is a new concept to most victims. It is our experience that the word has nothing to do with placing blame anywhere but on the abuser. Rather, it lifts the women’s burden of guilt and concern.

“He and his family told me all the time I was, and I always figured I must be crazy or I wouldn’t still be there taking it.”

Some manifestations of addiction are compulsivity, loss of control over one’s own behavior, inability to leave the situation despite the damage and danger to oneself and children, and denial of the existence and severity of the problem. If these are present in the relationship, we believe it warrants at least the consideration of addiction as a possible factor.

Addiction, a common word in today’s society, describes a condition that is very responsive to help, and in our experience, seems to be a comforting word to those abused women to whom it applies. It helps dispel the common terrors of unknown madness and a hopeless, trapped future. We believe it is helpful in enlarging the woman’s understanding of her own situation and problems.


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