Thank you for loving me eleven years ago

I’ll see you when I see you
That’s how you end our phone conversations
I saw my homeopath yesterday (10/11/16)
I told him whatever prescription I take, you’d come to mind whenever I take those pills
So I said to my homeopath “Is there any potion I can take to forget him?”

You are the last person I love
I cannot accept anyone after I left you

Why did I leave you?
I saw how much you loved me
I can’t accept your noble intention

I fear that you might turn into a monster abusing me the same way the men in my life abused me

I know you are not a monster but I fear that you might hurt me and my love for you would dissipate

Anyhow,I do not think I can make you happy…..

I was happy when you were my crutch when I was limping

Once I really wished to look at you
I knew it was impossible as I no longer cross your path
But then I switched on tv1 and there you were, hosting a programme
You were not as handsome when we first met in 2002
We were waiting for the Islamic Jurisprudence lecturer and I noticed you
(who wouldn’t)
At that time you were chambering as well.

Do you remember you always come late for our company law class?
Whenever you make your grand entrance, as you walked past me, I said to myself “This guy is good looking”.

I shall stop now.

By the way
I dreamed I would marry someone else
Twice
So I shall see you at Padang Mahsyar to apologize for hurting you since you refused to accept my apology nor reply my email
By the way, I lost your email address because my account is deactivated.

Thank you for loving me eleven years ago my beloved brown eyes with curled eyelashes
I cherish your sincerity, patience and loving gaze.

(I shall not name you but you told me to pretend we do not know each other before I joined your Islamic Banking department.You were born on 15th June)


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